Enea, Scanlan & Sirignano, LLP Attorneys at Law

Estate Planning Isn’t Just For The Elderly

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Writing a will: 5 emotional hurdles and how to overcome them

On Behalf of | Mar 26, 2026 | Estate Planning

Writing a will can be difficult for many, especially because the process involves grappling with concepts like mortality. Determining who inherits what also has the potential to cause conflict within the family. However, if you do not write a will, your inheritance is determined by New York’s laws instead. These laws might not honor your wishes. It is important to familiarize yourself with some of the hurdles that might make planning for the future more challenging.

Common challenges and practical ways to move past them

Before writing a will, it is vital to identify some of the potential hurdles. Here are the main emotional barriers people face when writing wills and how you can address each one:

  • Fear of losing control: You can update your will as life changes, and you choose who to appoint as your executor. This is the person who manages your assets and follows the instructions in your will.
  • Guilt about unequal inheritance: Base what you allow your family to inherit on their needs, as well as whether or not they are financially dependent on you. If you do not write a will, the state’s intestacy rules will determine who inherits under New York law.
  • Feeling overwhelmed from paperwork: Hold two sessions when writing a will: one to determine the assets and inheritors, followed by another where you draft and sign it. You can also consult a lawyer to ensure your will is compliant with New York laws.
  • Discomfort with death: View the process as a practical way to ensure your family fulfills your wishes after your passing, reducing uncertainty and giving your loved ones guidance.
  • Fear of creating conflict in the family: Use plain language, pick an executor you trust and write a letter of intent to justify and explain your choices. Letters of intent are not legally binding, but they can be helpful for your family.

Taking the time to recognize these emotional barriers makes estate planning far more manageable. Once you move past the hesitation and take the first step, you create a sense of clarity, protection and peace of mind for the people who matter most.

What is the significance of writing a will?

Writing a will gives you control over what happens to your property and helps your family avoid confusion during a hard time. It lets you choose who inherits, who handles your estate and how to distribute specific items or funds, instead of leaving those decisions to the state’s intestacy rules.

A properly executed will under may also reduce conflict by setting clear instructions. In the end, a will does not just help you by ensuring your wishes are fulfilled, but it also helps your family. You can provide for them even after your passing, which may grant you some peace of mind.